Mały

I hear him, like a gentle murmur in the peacefulnes of the night, breathing deeper. It's an internal moan, between lament and damnation. "Again, -I think- he is not able to sleep." And with agile and warm movements, I feel him this way changing repeatedly positions.

I don't understand very well howcome, his presence brings me peace.

I hunt his breath with my nape, as if it was spring air after the long winter. "If he hugs me it means he likes me"

And it doesn't take long until he punts his arm around my ribs, and he presses me warmly against himself. Suddently I realize I've been millimeter made to fit on him, as commissioned. And his shoulder perfectly fits the angle of my nek that rests on it. It's winter, but it's not cold anymore. I forget about everything. I forget about his past, about my present, and I forget that he is not able to say me that he is happy with me, because his breast breathing against me says much more. It tells to me that we are not aware of how much we would miss each other if this fate wouldn't have played to get us together, in that precise moment in which two devastated hearts needed urgently to be rehabilitated.

Today I believe that eternal passions, as Oscar Wilde used to say, come promptly to an end. Patience, affection, understanding, time and the desire to make someone else happy result in true love.

Today I certainly know the hearts are made by crystal, the same one as his wine glasses, delicate and fine crystal. So fragile that it can be broken with just an idea, and get cut anybody who try to repear it.

We were two broken hearts cutting each other. From fearness and pride it's so difficult to see clearly who is getting close to you, and even more difficult to let him do it. We had to "learn" each other. To discover that different doesn't mean worse. We had to let it be.

I felt him opening his armor, and letting me get into his world of confessions, where we talked for hours, where there existed before only discussions with himself.

He is calm sea. He is safeness and protective hug in a forest. He is mirth in a car listening Batman soundtrack. He is skating with my dog in the gear. He is a storm day with movie included. He is Haribos with smile in the background. He is slow breathing in a siesta in Malaga.

So I said myself, "just give me time". There is so many little things I would like to share with you. I want to tell you secrets that only I know, and see you smiling while hearing them. I want to show you my world, my small land and my people, my movies and books, my food, my art, my past. So there will be a moment that you can read my thoughts, and there will be a moment you want me to read yours.

We embark together again in our favourite morning practice. I feel that I just want to caress his skin, and that he says me name, that he repeats it, because I swear nobody had made it sound so good before. Last sigh, and I wait. "Please, kiss me in the cheek.-I keep thinking- Please do it". Because these little things are the ones that make me feel all what he doesnt say.

He caress me, first with the hand, and then with his lips, and he smiles to me, drowning me in his crystal sapphire eyes, where I would like to spend the whole day. Time doesnt exist. It wouldn't make sense.